There is no spoon

In case you have been under a rock and didn’t know, airlines have been hammered by the global economic downturn — whipsawed between sky-high jet fuel prices during the first half of 2008 followed by a harrowing plunge in demand. They aren’t out of the woods yet as industry losses are expected to reach $9 billion for 2009.

Industry leaders including Air France-KLM, American Airlines, and Delta have been posting monster losses and scrambling to stem the hemorrhage. Many carriers have made up some financial ground by charging fees for window seats, extra bags, pillows, beverages, and maybe someday, bathroom privileges. Nothing is sacred anymore — if it can generate revenue or slash costs, it’s up for discussion.

Among the more unusual cost-cutting schemes is having passengers load their own luggage into cargo holds. This idea comes from Michael O’Leary, Ryanair‘s over-the-top CEO who also came up with the pay-per-potty plan. Not surprisingly, airlines industry officials are concerned about the potential security risks of allowing passengers to act as their own baggage handlers.

Some airlines are employing other methods to lighten up. Northwest Airlines is losing the spoons from its cutlery packets for in-flight meals that don’t need one. Soup and ice cream will just have to wait until you land. And Japan Airlines has reduced all its cutlery by one centimeter.

How does taking spoons away and making silverware smaller save money? Simple. One of the biggest expenses for airlines is jet fuel. As jet fuel prices creep back up, some companies are getting out their scales because the more weight on the plane, the more jet fuel it takes to fly it around. Loading fewer utensils and/or shrinking them may sound like small potatoes, but cutlery for 200-400 passengers adds up. Other items being “put on a diet” are the amount of water (bottled and in tanks) loaded on planes and catering carts, aircraft seats, and on-board TVs, all of which are targets for redesign to be lighter.

These days, jet fuel is about $60 per barrel, significantly below the nosebleed price of $134 per barrel when it peaked in October 2008. But prices are on the rise again — jet fuel shot up 22% in the past month. At this rate, forks may be next on the airline hit list.