So, Hewlett-Packard is buying Electronic Data Systems (EDS) for about $14B. People have blogged, dissected, and talked this deal to death.
Hoover’s editors think, talk, and write about business all day long, at least on work days. You would not be surprised to learn, then, that we sometimes dream about business. Yes, the fastest path to a good night’s sleep often is hastened by thoughts of employee figures and net earnings, and then it’s on to dreams of the corporate life.
Thinking about the EDS-HP merger the other night, I drifted off to sleep, and I dreamed that I talked to the one man who hasn’t been interviewed about this deal. Yes, I dreamed of a telephone interview with none other than the founder of EDS, H. Ross Perot Sr.
DORSCH: Mr. Perot! Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, sir.
PEROT: What’s that? Speak up, son! I can’t hear you over all this noise!
DORSCH: Sorry! What noise is that, sir?
PEROT: It’s that giant sucking sound again, but this time, it’s all those NAFTA jobs in Mexico going to China! Okay, it’s a bit quieter now. Go ahead with your questions! I’m all ears. Ha ha!
DORSCH: Yes, sir, thank you for recycling that joke from the 1992 presidential debate. It’s still very funny. Mr. Perot, what do you think of Hewlett-Packard buying EDS, the company you started in 1962?
PEROT: Well, it’s interesting. This is the second or third time the company’s changed hands, if you count General Motors spinning it off in 1996. I think HP is making a mistake!
DORSCH: A mistake? How so, sir?
PEROT: They should have bought Perot Systems! We do a much better job than EDS or anyone else!
DORSCH: Yes, heh heh, quite so, sir. But Perot Systems is only about one-tenth the size of EDS. That wouldn’t give the HP Technology Solutions Group the heft it needs to compete against IBM Global Services.
PEROT: Dang it, son, EDS is all hat and no cattle these days! Those TV commercials about herding cats … what were they thinking? I’ve got half a mind to call up Dave and Bill, and tell them to forget about that deal!
DORSCH: Dave and Bill? Sir, Mr. Packard and Mr. Hewlett have been dead for several years. They haven’t run HP in a while. In fact, they even had a woman running HP, Carly Fiorina, who caused a lot of trouble by buying a Texas company, Compaq Computer.
PEROT: Compaq? What the heck kind of name is that for a company?
DORSCH: Sir, there’s all sorts of names for high-tech companies, like Apple and Microsoft. Even Yahoo!.
PEROT: Yahoo? You mean, what cowboys yell when they’re roping a calf?
DORSCH: Sir, let’s get back to the competition between HP and IBM in IT services …
PEROT: Don’t talk to me about IBM! I know all about them fellers. I used to work for them, you know.
DORSCH: Oh, this isn’t going well …
Then, a thunderstorm rolled into South Austin, ending my dream. I awoke to find the head of a hard-disk drive under the covers. Was it all just a dream?
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